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What happens when there is a miscarriage? I don't mean the physiological bits, I certainly understand that, I mean the metaphysical bits. What happens when someone figures out they are pregnant when they miscarry?
So today I heard a SERIOUSLY insensitive remark made to someone who has miscarried this year. A loved one said, "you need to have a baby, I'm ready to have one in the house." My shock was probably well hidden since very few people know of the pregnancy and miscarriage situation at all. I was just flabbergasted that this person would even think to say such a thing to her. I realize the person probably wasn't thinking when the remark was made but it's certainly resonated in my mind for the rest of the evening.
What happens when there is a miscarriage??
I'll be honest and share a little of the situation with you. She started getting physically sick but we all kinda chalked it up to stress. Then, just in case, she took a test and it came out positive. After reading about the test, we realized there is a slight possibility of a false positive so a retest would be in order after a couple more weeks. Second test came back inconclusive and she got really sick again but this time with pain. Flash forward a month and the doctor says pregnancy test is positive, but the ultrasound shows no embryo. So, diagnosis became "miscarriage".
So what happened? Did the stress do her in? Was her body just not viable for carrying a baby? Did Nature right a wrong? Did God answer some asshole's prayer? Or another asshole original asshole confided in?? I feel a lot of anger for her, simply because asshole became ASSHOLE to begin with. I know she was scared when she first suspected but I think she had finally come to some peace about the whole situation. It was a scary time when we found out there was a chance, but I think secretly we were all kinda excited for her, just sad it was ASSHOLE in the picture.
With all the debates in the recent years over a woman's body, I wonder at what point did the embryo become a baby to be miscarried??? Was it the moment she recognized the situation? The moment her body withdrew the option? Was it even a baby? Did it have any soul to speak of? What happened?
I know we have talked before about prayers. But I have to wonder, whose prayer got answered in this instance? Was it the asshole's prayer "please god don't let her be pregnant"? Was it the grandmother's "please God give me a grand baby"? Was it the mother's "please God help me find my way"? Whose prayer? Did her body end a life? Did Nature? Was it even a "life" to be ended at that point??
I don't think many (if anyone actually reads these) understand how heartbreaking this is for me to write. But there are questions. Questions that may never be answered. Questions that will linger forever in the back of all our minds.
I'll never fully understand Nature but I hope I can find a place to be a peace with the workings of the universe. I hope we all will. I don't know whether to feel sad for her loss or relieved for the release she now has from the asshole. It's a terrible thing to lose a child, but how is one to feel about an unexpected miscarriage. I know my friend takes the side of "a woman's right to her own body" but she would never participate in an abortion. I guess nature had other plans for them. My heart hurts for the whole shitstorm that brewed. I'm very sad that she didn't even have the one person she hoped to lean on through anything and everything. He wasn't there. He became a bigger asshole than anyone could foresee.
They say time heals all wounds, but does that include ones like these??
My tears blur my typing now, so I guess I'll rest on this point: Hug someone today, you really have no idea what Nature has thrown at them nor do you know who went from friend to Asshole in their lives.
Be kind to everyone.... Unless it's the Asshole, in that case KICK HIM HARD!!!
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