Betrayal Hurts Worse than Heartbreak

Betrayed.

That's what I feel.

I don't care that we aren't in a long-term committed relationship.  I don't care that you and I don't actually have titles for one another.

I do care that you went to her, and all y'all's toxicity towards one another, and slept with her.

My heart is broken.  

And I feel like a bloody fool!

Of all people, for some stupid ass reason, I trusted you completely.  I trusted you with my body and my heart and my mind.  And now you've thrown it all in my face by going to her.

I mean I had to listen to the two of you berate each other, to me for months.  I know how horrible you are to each and still you went to her. You act as if you didn't know what would happen, but that's fucking stupid! Of course you know!  The whole goddamn world probably knows!!  And still you went.  What about me?  I mean what's the point in asking me to tell you not to go but then you go anyhow.  

I guess I don't understand people being so cavalier with other people's emotions.

I mean this sucks for me and we aren't even "dating".

I guess I've always been an all or nothing kind of person.  

I never thought YOU would be the one to crush me so completely.  And I am.  It hurts to breath, it hurts to think, it hurts to speak sometimes. I just don't know how you could do that...

I'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of a lot.

Maybe one day I'll remember not to trust so much.

I still love you.

Even if I wanna punch you in the junk.